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On the wiring side of things do I need to make the car think its in park to start? Where is the best place to short it out?

There's a relay under the steering column, you need to remove it and jump two pins. Can't remember what it looks like or what pins are, but just follow the wiring from the selector and jump the ones that the relay connects!

Can I short it out on the connector where it clipped into the shifter?

Better to do it at the steering column so there's less wires to go wrong and ruin your day!

This might be something I'm going to do to mine if I can get all the parts easy,how have you found the job so far?

I swapped the engine for one with a flywheel and clutch so it was a little easier.
I wouldn't call it a massive job it's just easy to overlook the little bits
Spigot bearing in the back of the crank needs to be installed, it's important to get it in square, I've made the mistake of getting it wrong before and it's a massive pain!!
Rear mount for gear shift had the tab in the transmission tunnel, I'd be 99% sure they all have them.
Clutch resovior needs a mounting made up as it's not on an auto car, also there is a bracket that the clutch line passes through that's missing.
Pedals are easy, seperate them from the mount and you'll be fine!
Don't forget you'll need the propshaft as well.
The only thing that is a real pain is finding this relay ^ but once I've found it for mine I'll be able to advise!

If you could that would be great,mines a m10 not m20 as is yours,

To be honest the m10 looks easier as there is more clearance between the back of the engine and the bulkhead so you can see the bellhousing from above

I agree with you there just trying to do some research

I'm doing mine at the weekend so need to order a spigot bearing but on real oem it's coming up with two available and one discontinued?! :-/ which one

you don't really need to order it from the dealer as you can easily get them from GSF and places like that

Really? Ok usually struggle with parts from gsf

When I did an e32 a while ago euro car parts were spot on, only cost a couple of quid.
Thinking about it that was an m30 which should be the same bearing.